Ninja Andy's Bear's Wacky Internet Conversations: Max and Mazz

Ninja Andy's Bear's Wacky Internet Conversations: Max and Mazz
Andy can do anything in Andyville

Disclaimer

The following transcript of conversations, while highly edited for profanity, still may deal with topics unsuitable for some. Please use discretion when viewing.

Just in case the title confuses you

Yes, it is I, the 1337 Ninja Prime Minister, presenting Bear's conversations. When I fired Bear last year, there were still conversations left to be used. Since her services here are no longer required, requested, or allowed, she was not going to be able to comment throughout as she normally would. Luckily, I'm far more 1337 than she ever was, so I will make comments about two of her leftover conversations throughout! 1337.

Max the Snowman

We'll start with Max. My guess is he really wanted to be on Letterman with his stupid human trick, but was rejected.

Max:	would you be interested in seeing a guy do something pretty unusual for you on webcam? MAX

Andy Note: I'm gonna guess no.

Bear:	If you think whacking on cam is unusual, then you haven't been paying attention.
Max:	its more than whacking.....wanna know? MAX

Andy Note: Super whacking?.

Bear:	Does it involve juggling?
Max:	nope........
Bear:	Then where are you putting the bowling pins?
Max:	".....bowling pins?" [rimshot] hey, if youre not into what....and most women arent...its not a problem, ill just move on
Bear:	Huh? What now? Was it bowling pins? Did I guess that right? If so, I rock. By what you said, I'm guessing it has to do with something going in your butt, right?

Andy Note: Please don't let it be him putting bowling pins in his butt...

Max:	nope....i want a woman to watch me jack off into a glass and drink the semen....

Andy Note: The bowling pins don't seem so bad now.

Bear:	Oh, a snowballer. Nah, not my thing, but good luck.
Max:	technically, no... a snowball implies sharing.... thanks for the luck wish though.
Bear:	Ok, a Greedy Frosty

Andy Note: Another children's tale ruined by Bear's sexual perversion! At least it's not Rudolph the Rimjob Reindeer. Enough of this conversation.

Mazzter of Lame

The next conversation is with a guy named Mazz... I suppose. That may just be his sped hut nickname.

Mazz:	hi
Mazz:	H r u?
Bear:	who are you?
Mazz:	n u

Andy Note: Three messages and he has completed one word... and it was two letters...

Bear:	I said who are you....not how are you.
Mazz:	Human

Andy Note: I've said it before, and I'll say it again: THERE SHOULD BE NO INTERNET ACCESS IN SPED HUTS!

Bear:	No s***.
Bear:	I don't know WHO you are. Why are you IMing me.
Mazz:	What the language ur ussing
Bear:	ENGLISH!
Bear:	How about you?
Mazz:	X-( i dont thing ur civilised person

Andy Note: Correct

Bear:	Well, I think you're a moron.

Andy Note: Correct

Mazz:	No
Bear:	Prove me wrong.
Mazz:	first i dont have to prove my self
Mazz:	bcoz i did not did any sin to prove

Andy Note: What? Is this guy for real? I feel like I'm watching Billy Bob talk to the fat kid in Bad Santa.

Bear:	Fine then, we've established that you're a moron.
Mazz:	naa
Mazz:	i am MAZZ
Mazz:	do u get me
Bear:	I get that you're a moron.
Mazz:	no man
Mazz:	ok
Mazz:	did u want to prove me
Mazz:	i can
Mazz:	but how
Mazz:	can u suggest

Andy Note: Please don't let the suggestion to be for him to put bowling pins in his butt...

Bear:	Do you know what a moron is?
Mazz:	no
Mazz:	can u tell me
Bear:	The definition for moron is.... a person who is notably stupid or lacking in good judgment.
Mazz:	X-(
Mazz:	:((
Mazz:	ur sick

Andy Note: Yeah! You sick... dictionary reader! I'm disgusted! Dictionaries... pffft.

Mazz:	i really tell u
Mazz:	i have seen ur profile
Mazz:	i are bammbo
Bear:	Aren't you what pandas eat?

Andy Note: He's a delicious McDonald's cheeseburger?

Mazz:	ur brain

Andy Note: We don't eat brains. That would be zombies.

Bear:	Ok, you really ARE a moron.
Mazz:	first u
Bear:	You need to come back with better insults than "ur brain"
Mazz:	i dont know ur name
Bear:	You don't need to know my name.
Mazz:	y

Andy Note: Because he would feed it to a zombie panda

Mazz:	[BUZZ]
Bear:	Because I said you don't.
Bear:	Don't f***in buzz me.
Mazz:	u r f***er
Mazz:	[BUZZ]

Andy Note: I think his computer is short circuiting due to excessive retardation.

Bear:	OK, I'm done talking to your stupid ass.

Andy Note: Thank Buddah.

She should have killed that panda hating bastard. Then I might have considered unfiring her...
Maybe...
Probably not...
Why did I fire her again?
Cheeseburgers!
1337.

THE END

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