Bear's Wacky Internet Conversations: Jason the Freak
Way too freaky for Andyville

Disclaimer
The following transcript of conversations, while highly edited for profanity, still may deal with topics unsuitable for some. Please use discretion when viewing.

This is the story of Jason
I got a message a while back from a guy named Jason. I never responded, but the message made me laugh so much that I thought I had to post it on here with my notes along the way. Note that I did not add the tons of dots he uses. That's just the way he types.
6/6/2008 6:51PM
Jason: Hi there and how are you doing .....? i got a Q to ask would you f*** ME

Note: Uh....no.

Jason: ....i know it sounds like thats all i want

Note: Well, that's all you've said so far.

Jason: .......but im am tryed of being a vrgin

Note: And that's my problem because?

Jason: and i want too know what it feels like

Note: That's what whores are for.

Jason: .....i know im not good with love any all but i just want too know what it feels like

Note: See whores above

Jason: and plus i am ugly and my d*** is small

Note: Great job selling yourself, buddy!

Jason: ....you can make fun of me if you like i dont care ...

Note: Check!

So, yeah, wow...
As I read it a few more times, I noticed it was kinda like a song if you fixed his spelling and divided the parts up right:

Hi there, and how are you doing?
I got a Q to ask, would you f*** ME?

I know it sounds like that's all I want
But I'm tired of being a virgin

And I want to know what it feels like
I know I'm not good with love at all
But I just want to know what it feels like
And plus I'm ugly and my d*** is small

You can make fun of me if you like
I
Don't
Care

...and it would look and sound a little something like this:

The real fun
When I was getting ready to put this article up, I noticed he had a bunch of blogs on BBW XXXTreme where he posted conversations he had with a woman who lives in my area in the few days before he sent me the message. He left all her personal info in it (email, cell and house phone numbers, full name, her children's names) and wanted people to believe she played him. The problem was that the conversations didn't make her look bad at all, but we learn way too much info about Jason. To show you what I mean, I'll show you some random quotes from the really long conversations.
Jason: hehe cant wait to eat your ass hehe

Jason: i want too smell your ass
Woman: I want to tongue f*** yours so badly
Jason: would you let me fart
Woman: well I guess so? you are into that aren't you
Jason: yes i am in to it ....im in to piss , s*** , vomit anf farts

Jason: but i want too eat your s***

Note: Yes, he said he wanted to eat it!

Jason: i want to ananly f*** you

Note: I guess we're past that being a big deal now, huh?

Jason: sister sucked on my d*** when i was 8 years old
Woman: OMG
Jason: i know
Woman: baby I am so sorry
Jason: its ok sweetie i liked what she did to me ....i mean i wanted so much to tell her to keep doingit

Note: Holy s***!

Jason: i like to put my hand in your ass or pu**y

Jason: i love watching women blow on a hores d***

Jason: i watched my mom and dad f*** a few times
Woman: did they know?
Jason: nope lol i was young and i was very good on not getten cought by them ....i loved how my mom sucked on my dads d***
Woman: you may not want to move
Jason: lol why not its not like my mom would do that to me anyway she not in to incest .....but i want too be wit hyou anyway ...i need to start my life

Note: So he really wants his mommy, but since he can't have her, he'll take this woman?

Jason: i like to fart on your finger then smell your finger

Jason: come on i do think about sucking on d*** lol
Woman: lol awwww baby
Jason: and im not bisexual

Note: Not bi... remember that. It will be important later...

Jason: i want to fist f*** your pu**y then after i take your anal cherry im going to fist f*** you analy

Jason: breast feeding sounds hot hehe

Jason: i want you to fart in my ass as i eat your ass out

Jason: i want to put my ass in your ass and smell it

Note: Yeah, I'm lost too.

Jason: i want too taste whats in side your ass

Jason: i bet you would love to suck on my borthers d*** hehe lol

Jason: i would love to see my cat lick your pu**y

Jason: i can drink piss every day if i can get alway with it lol

Jason: just tell your kids that you what to be alone and just rub your cl*t lol

Note: Great parenting advice...

Jason: i like to f*** you in front of my friends
Jason: i want them to f*** you while you suck on me

Jason: i want too drink your pee sooo much my mouth just waters for it

Jason: i want you to blow mw while you take a s***
Woman: how many times have you done this
Jason: 6 to 10 times with my ex 3 years ago it was fun
Woman: what do you do?
Jason: well as she was sucking on my d*** i was holding on to her head every time i here her s*** hit the water i drive her head on to my d***

Note: Hmm, but I thought you said you were a virgin...

Jason: hehe i can suck dick for you hehe

Note: Hmm, but I thought you said you were not bi... at least he hasn't done it before... right?

Woman: hmmm have you before?
Jason: yes
Woman: mmmmmmmm who's?
Jason: one of my friends
Woman: do you do it a lot?
Jason: no i only did it to him a few times before he movied alway
Woman: did he suck yours?
anyone f*** anyone's ass?
Jason: he f***ed me in the ass 6 times in 2 dayts and we both did the 69 thing and the time i was scared to f*** im in the ass
Woman: my god
Jason: i know ......i bet you would watch me suck him

Note: Somebody needs to get Jason a dictionary and circle the definitions of "virgin" and "bisexual."

Jason: hehe yeah i thought about raping you then i got hard so i started to masturbate

Jason: i thought about tieing you up with your panties then slapping your ass hard to get you to sream then i pull down my pants and underwear then piss on your ass ....then i begian to lick every drop of piss off your ass then i came to you i open your mouth and spit in it hehe

Jason: i smell bad

Jason: i know piss dont taste good lol
i tryed mine before

Jason: i want too rape you

Jason: i like shemales hehe

Jason: i like to see you suck on a male dogs d*** hehe

Jason: maybe i can bite you hard to draw blood and suck on it hehe

Jason: i like to piss in your ass and drink it out hehe

Jason: would you watch me suck off my borthers c*** hehe

Jason: im hungy for your s*** hehe

Jason: do you make big turds/s*** or small ones ?

Jason: i really do want to rape you

Jason: do you like smelly c*** or clean

Jason: i wish i could f*** you when your 15

Jason: if i was you son i would f*** you

Note: Whoa...

Jason: i want to slap you in the face or try to put marks on your face

Jason: do you or would you smell my armpits

Jason: i wish you had a d***

Note: Dude!

Jason: would you smell my c*** i have not wash it in 4 days

Note: DUDE!

Jason: ii want you too eat my c*** off hehe

Note: Enough!

If you don't get the point by now, you're not going to. The "virgin" who just wants "to know what it feels like" is a bisexual man, leaning heavily towards gay who has previously participated in incest and is into:
  • Pee
  • Poo
  • Puke
  • Farts
  • Blood
  • Spit
  • Dogs
  • Cats
  • Horses
  • His mom
  • His sister
  • His brother
  • Rape
  • Shemales
  • B.O.
  • Physical abuse of women
Hmm... I wonder why she would stop talking to him...
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