Bear's Wacky Internet Conversations
Almost as wacky as Andyville

Disclaimer
The following transcripts of conversations, while highly edited for profanity, still may deal with topics unsuitable for some. Please use discretion when viewing.

Uhhhh
For the life of me, I couldn't think of what to write here on Andyville. Then it hit me....why not write about the guys and bots that randomly talk to me and my friends? Hey! Why not just show you the conversations? The names have been changed to protect the guilty.
Dumb Guys in the Lesbian Rooms
I'm not a lesbian, but I have lesbian friends, so sometimes I go to lesbian rooms to talk with them. I always get messaged by guys in those rooms. I've been hanging around Cray too long, so I can't help but mess with people. So, I stay in character as a lesbian and try to figure out why they are in there. Here's what happens when me and my friends get messaged by guys in the lesbian rooms.
Me vs Dumb Guy "Animesh"

"Animesh":let me see u nude on cam
Bear:Loser!
"Animesh":what
Bear:your a loser I don't want to talk to you
Bear:plus you have a d**k
"Animesh":sorry
"Animesh":just go to with mom and use stick
Bear:Huh?

Me vs Dumb Guy "Shami"

"Shami":cam with hung man
Bear:If your a guy you shouldn't be in the room.
"Shami":are u
"Shami":noooooooo
Bear:What?
"Shami":pic or cam or horny
Bear:not horny, no cam,. and I'm not going to share pics with you.
"Shami":byeeeeeeeeeee
Bear:byeeeeeee

Me vs Dumb Guy "Nudeboy"

"Nudeboy" (1:17:42 PM): want to chat with 22m
"Nudeboy" (1:17:51 PM): [BUZZ]
Bear (1:18:06 PM): F*** no you got a d**k. Besides I hate f***ers that buzz me. And another thing....why are you in a lesbian room?!??!
"Nudeboy" (1:18:34 PM): well well well ... by mistake
"Nudeboy" (1:18:50 PM): i was getting in Flirting room but ... anyway calmdown dont get angry
Bear (1:24:25 PM): I'm not mad. Just hate that guys come into the room.
Bear (1:24:44 PM): Besides Flirting room is nowhere near the Lesie room
"Nudeboy" (1:25:01 PM): so wat u want me to do ?
Bear (1:25:16 PM): Leave the room maybe?
"Nudeboy" (1:25:24 PM): n if i won,t then ?
"Nudeboy" (1:26:39 PM): ok carry on with ur freinds
"Nudeboy" (1:26:40 PM): bubyee
Bear (1:26:42 PM): I think you were trying to click the Gay man's Lounge
"Nudeboy" (1:26:52 PM): well i m not a GAY ...
Bear (1:26:56 PM): lol
"Nudeboy" (1:27:28 PM): ok carry on with ur freinds bubyee
Bear (1:27:50 PM): bye

Me vs Dumb Guy "Pal"

"Pal" (6:05:01 AM): hi
Bear (6:05:23 AM): Hi asl
"Pal" (6:05:52 AM): 19/m here
Bear (6:06:02 AM): Why are you in a lesbian room?
"Pal" (6:06:28 AM): here r lots of girl to chat
Bear (6:06:51 AM): So all you want to do is chat with them?
"Pal" (6:07:31 AM): yes
"Pal" (6:07:37 AM): n more.......
Bear (6:07:50 AM): That's where the problem lies....
Bear (6:08:01 AM): This being a lesbian room... there is no more for you.
Bear (6:08:09 AM): Do you know what a lesbian is?
"Pal" (6:08:28 AM): i dont know
"Pal" (6:08:37 AM): tell me
Bear (6:08:49 AM): It's a girl that only likes girls
"Pal" (6:09:23 AM): oh god...
"Pal" (6:09:53 AM): but i like girls
Bear (6:09:53 AM): Yeah... you see the issue then?
"Pal" (6:10:03 AM): can i c u?
Bear (6:10:06 AM): But you are not a girl
"Pal" (6:10:12 AM): on cam
Bear (6:10:50 AM): First of all, why? What's in it for me?
"Pal" (6:10:52 AM): [BUZZ]
Bear (6:10:56 AM): DON'T BUZZ ME!
Bear (6:13:06 AM): Enjoy the gay man's lounge.
"Pal" (6:22:06 AM): can i c u pls
"Pal" (6:26:44 AM): can u tell me how girls play sex together can u tell me i m confused
"Pal" (6:26:47 AM): [BUZZ]

Me vs Dumb Guy "Snow"

Bear: Why do you want to know?
"Snow": m/19
Bear: Why are you in the room?
"Snow": i dk
"Snow": i am in there tho
Bear: well duh
Bear: or you wouldn't be talking to me
"Snow": i met i dk y i am in there
Bear: do you have a vagina?
"Snow": depends are u
Bear: I have a p***y yes.
Bear: But I don't want your c**k.
"Snow": thats what i was waitin for u to say
Bear: so what....if I had a c**k then you would suddenly have a p***y?
"Snow": never said that
Bear:then how would it depend...you either have a p***y or you don't.
"Snow": i was goin to say i was a vergina but never mind that now
Bear: Ooooh! So your a p***y. I get it now.
"Snow": i am what i eat
Bear: Oh, so your a d**k?
"Snow": no i gotta d**k but i eat p***y
Bear:Probably not much of a d**k
"Snow": it gets me by
Bear: HA HA HA!
"Snow": but probably help to have a few chicks with it
Bear: chicks with d**ks?
"Snow": p***ys
Bear: ah, post op

Me vs Dumb Guy "Texas"

"Texas": hi
"Texas": asl pls
Bear: 24/f/IL
Bear: ok
Bear: what's you asl?
"Texas": 20/M/Nig
"Texas": so where do u reside?
Bear: huh....why are you in a lezi room?
"Texas": how
"Texas": i dont understand
Bear: lesbian room....meaning girls who like girls.
"Texas": oh, am looking for a girl
"Texas": i never no dat's d meaning
Bear: But so are THESE girls!
"Texas": thanx 4 telling me
"Texas": all right,
Bear: welcome.
"Texas": so i want u
Bear: Are you not grasping the concept here?
Bear: Having a penis disqualifies you
"Texas": i feel u
Bear: Huh?
"Texas": thanx
"Texas": so try to look 4 a nice one 4 me
Bear: A nice lesbian?
"Texas": yap
"Texas": dat's what i want
Bear: Please, explain to me what you think a lesbian is.
"Texas": age 21 to ur age
"Texas": any thing u think, dat's what i think
Bear: I think you're kinda slow
"Texas": no am not
Bear: yes am are
"Texas": wat do u mean?
Bear: Exactly
Bear: Let me bring this down a notch
Bear: Lesbians=girls that have sex with ONLY girls
Bear: Girls=someone without a penis, instead having a vagina
Bear: Are you a girl?
"Texas": am very clear horny
"Texas": am not
"Texas": so, wat next
"Texas": thanx
Bear: Ok....... stay with me here....
Bear: If you are NOT a girl
Bear: Lesbians don't want you
"Texas": am not,so dat's why am asking u what next?
Bear: Go find a 2x4 and whack yourself in the head
"Texas": that';s right
"Texas": byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Bear: Peace out homeskillet.

Me vs Dumb Guy Pretending to be a Girl "Samo"

"Samo" (3:59:02 PM): hi takl ples
Bear (3:59:28 PM): male or female.
"Samo" (4:00:18 PM): femal
Bear (4:00:27 PM): ok
"Samo" (4:00:32 PM): and u
Bear (4:00:36 PM): female
Bear (4:00:44 PM): a/l?
"Samo" (4:01:48 PM): ineed stick u p***y
Bear (4:02:10 PM): what?
Bear (4:02:21 PM): I said age location
Bear (4:03:09 PM): What?????
"Samo" (4:03:10 PM): no what
Bear (4:04:26 PM): asl?
"Samo" (4:04:33 PM): 22
"Samo" (4:05:16 PM): ilove sex with gerl
"Samo" (4:05:16 PM): usa
Bear (4:05:36 PM): cool
Bear (4:05:41 PM): what part of us?
Bear (4:05:47 PM): I"m in IL
"Samo" (4:06:23 PM): u famil
"Samo" (4:09:41 PM): [BUZZ]
"Samo" (4:10:14 PM): [BUZZ]
"Samo" (4:10:29 PM): no
"Samo" (4:11:08 PM): u in my heart
Bear (4:11:43 PM): ooh
Bear (4:11:51 PM): no buzzing please
"Samo" (4:12:45 PM): i hope stick u anel
Bear (4:13:20 PM): WHAT?
"Samo" (4:14:35 PM): u anal
Bear (4:15:20 PM): Only if you had a strap-on....but I don't want anal!
"Samo" (4:16:36 PM): what u want
Bear (4:17:44 PM): I don't like anal
"Samo" (4:18:44 PM): what u like
"Samo" (4:18:59 PM): your p***y
Bear (4:20:07 PM): yeah, but why do you care? You don't have a c**k. Do you have a strap-on or something?
"Samo" (4:22:15 PM): u male
Bear (4:22:22 PM): no!
"Samo" (4:23:56 PM): what u say about d**k
Bear (4:24:21 PM): oh never mind
"Samo" (4:25:14 PM): ok
Bear (4:26:11 PM): gtg
Bear (4:26:13 PM): bye
"Samo" (4:27:21 PM): u like sex
"Samo" (4:28:21 PM): xax
"Samo" (4:28:38 PM): bye my love

My Friend Lari vs Dumb Guy "Sam"

"Sam": U WANNA CAM SEX
Lari: U wanna gimme 5 bucks?
Lari: :P
"Sam": INVITE ME
Lari: Wait, you're not a bot?
Lari: Hello?
Lari: Sam?
Lari: You there?
Lari: C'mon honey...
"Sam": YEAH
"Sam": I WANNA CAM SEX
"Sam": INVITE ME
Lari: Ok, why exactly are you in the lesbian women's lounge anyway?
Lari: Hello?
Lari: Yooo hooooo...
Lari: Like I thought, just a little boy playing big man.
Dumb Guys in General
There are dumb guys, and just plain jerks outside the lesbian room as well. Here are their stories.
Me vs Dumb Jerk Guy "Paul"

"Paul":hey how far u from vincennes
Bear:How far are you from:
A) A camera, because you don't have a picture on MySpace or even a public profile so that I can figure out if I should even bother talking to you.
B) A dictionary, because "u" is not a word.
C) A book on grammer and punctuation, because there is no punctuation in that poor excuse for a sentence fragment.
Hoosiers, seriously!
"Paul":2 words jenny craig
Bear:Aww, mad because you got rejected by a fat girl? Boy, you must live a sad life. I probably get more p***y than you. Just a note: after you have attempted to make contact with someone, you can't pretend to find them unattractive just because they reject you. Not only does this make you look stupid, but it makes you look like a bigger loser than you actually are.
"Paul":ur stupid juss cuz u need to go to jenny craig don't mean nuttin juss lookin for quick lay but seriously how many otheroffers does ur fat ass get
Bear:I'm stupid? This is coming from someone who just posted the roadmap to illiteracy. Here's a dollar, buy a clue.
Secondly, how are you going to get a quick lay from somebody if you don't even have a picture on your profile? Women aren't going to swarm to you if they don't know what you look like, especially if you're illiterate.
Finally, how many offers does my fat ass get? I lost count a long time ago. I have people all over the US that want to f*** me, and that's not even counting the illiterate f***tards like you who IM me constantly looking for a quick lay.
In addition to that, I've got a man that has more c**k than you have brains (wait... that doesn't say much... that could be a AAA battery. Trust me though, HUGE c**k), and he knows how to use it. I have a very full and fulfilling sex life.
You, on the other hand, are too much of a p***y to show the world what you look like, and troll online looking for "quick lays" from people you think are below your league. Then, they reject you. Your life is a joke. Go kill yourself.

Me vs Dumb Impatient Guy "Peter"

"Peter" (9:55:59 AM): how are u
"Peter" (9:56:17 AM): [BUZZ]
Bear (9:56:30 AM): I'm ok
Bear (9:56:38 AM): no buzzing
Bear (9:57:01 AM): I'll answer you when I'm ready....
"Peter" (9:57:16 AM): [BUZZ]
Bear (9:57:27 AM): F***er
Bear (9:57:34 AM): I said don't buzz me
"Peter" (9:58:21 AM): when are u going tobe ready
Bear(9:58:32 AM): I answered you
Bear (9:58:40 AM): I said I was doing ok today.
Bear (9:59:39 AM): asl?
Bear (10:00:46 AM): ok then
Bear (10:00:48 AM): bye
"Peter" (10:01:16 AM): [BUZZ]

Me vs Dumb... DUMB Guy "Jay"

"Jay": hi
Bear: hi
Bear: asl?
"Jay": 20/m and you
Bear: 24/f
"Jay": 4m where
Bear: you tell me where your from first seeing as I asked first.
"Jay": ok 4m orissa
Bear: What?
"Jay": yeah
"Jay": 4m where r u?
Bear: Do you not know how to spell FROM?
Bear: Or are you a 4 year old male?
"Jay": NO
"Jay": WHY
"Jay": its modern age and we have to be fast
"Jay": so from where r u?
Bear: Then learn to type faster. It doesn't mean you need to look like a retard. It's not about you being fast, it's about you being a lazy f***tard.
"Jay": no way
"Jay": what
Bear: Yes way. You look like a damn idiot. Write one entire sentence, containing more than 10 words, and no stupid shorthand, and then maybe I'll be convinced that you have a brain. Otherwise, I'll know you don't.
"Jay": f*** off babe
Bear: That's what I thought. Your non-existant brain is ALMOST as small as your non-existant c**k.
"Jay": not at all u will be having a smaall p***y
"Jay": 8/14/2006 8:31 AM plzzz read this A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you three wishes." The woman freed the frog, and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes. Whatever you wish for, your husband will get times ten!" The woman said, "That's okay." For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realise that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to". The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful Woman and he will
Bear: You pasted that.
Bear: That doesn't count.
"Jay": yeah
Bear: Plus, saying a woman has a small p***y is a compliment. It's mean's she's tight and not a whore.
"Jay": yeah yhen lets have a night together to know how much tight it is
Bear: Sorry, I don't sleep with retards.
"Jay": u r just f***ed by someone
Bear: Oh yeah, he f***s the hell out of me. He tears me up real good.
"Jay": what ur butts
Bear: I only have one. What kind of women have you been dating?
"Jay": every kind
Bear: Trannies?
"Jay": not at all u just sleep then u can how it feels to your p***y
Bear: What? Do you know English? Do YOU even know what you're talking about? The bots give me more intelligent responses than you do.
"Jay": i know you r not female
Bear: Hmm, could have sworn I was. Have you ever seen a real female?
"Jay": if u r so interested than show ur boobs or p***y. i can know that ur real female
Bear: What in the hell made you think I was interested? You IM'ed me and have been babbling like a crackhead ever since. I know that I am a female. Trust me, there's no doubt about that. Now, whether you have a brain or not... that's debatable.
"Jay": yeah then say from which place you are
Bear: Are you literate?
"Jay": yeah
Bear: Then you should be able to read the words on my profile.
"Jay": ok
"Jay": say what more
"Jay": are you studying
Bear: Not anymore. I'm done with school.
"Jay": ok
"Jay": what r u doing riht now
Bear: Chatting on the computer
"Jay": ok tell me about something
Bear: Well, there's this really annoying, stupid guy who I'm talking to.
"Jay": why
Bear: I don't know. Do you think I should stop talking to him?
"Jay": ok
"Jay": bye
Bear: lol bye bye now. See you on Andyville.
"Jay": ok
"Jay": have good dreams

Lari vs Dumb Confused Guy "Ice"

"Ice": (10:03:12 AM)
(Left as Offline)
hi i like u cam share now
Lari: (12:49:07 PM): Hi
Lari: (12:49:09 PM): Hi
Lari: (12:49:10 PM): Hi
Lari: (12:49:16 PM): Hello
Lari: (12:49:19 PM): Hello?
Lari: (12:49:23 PM): I know you're there
Lari: (12:49:29 PM): Are you scared?
Lari: (12:49:34 PM): You are, aren't you?
"Ice": (12:49:35 PM): hi
"Ice": (12:49:45 PM): who r u ?
Lari: (12:49:45 PM): Hi
Lari: (12:49:53 PM): You don't remember me?
Lari: (12:49:54 PM): *CRY*
"Ice": (12:49:57 PM): we talked earlier?
Lari: (12:50:03 PM): OMG YOU FORGOT ME!
Lari: (12:50:04 PM): *CRY*
Lari: (12:50:13 PM): How could you forget me? *CRY*
"Ice": (12:50:32 PM): invite me
Lari: (12:50:58 PM): Invite you where?
"Ice": (12:51:15 PM): ur cam
Lari: (12:51:35 PM): Who said I had one?
Lari: (12:51:58 PM): You think you can just waltz online, act like you don't even know me, and then ask to see me on cam?
Lari: (12:52:30 PM): That's some kind of nerve you have there.
"Ice": (12:52:48 PM): mostaly i talking with camfrd
"Ice": (12:53:05 PM): coz of that i'm sure u've cam
Lari: (12:53:19 PM): I've no cam, trust me.
"Ice": (12:53:30 PM): pic
"Ice": (12:54:36 PM): share at pic box
Lari: (12:55:05 PM): I'm UGLY! *CRY*
"Ice": (12:56:09 PM): doesn't matter how u look like
Lari: (12:56:25 PM): You think I'm UGLY!
"Ice": (12:56:28 PM): i like good heart person
Lari: (12:56:29 PM): *CRY**CRY*
Lari: (12:56:43 PM): But I'm a bitch too!
"Ice": (12:56:49 PM): hope ur good
"Ice": (12:56:54 PM): heart
"Ice": (12:58:50 PM): so?
Lari: (12:59:14 PM): So what? I'm an ugly bitch. I'm over it.
Lari: (12:59:19 PM): Bye.
"Ice": (12:59:48 PM): this is not fare
Lari: (1:00:08 PM): What's not fare?
"Ice": (1:00:08 PM): i told u doesn't matter hoe u look like
Lari: (1:00:16 PM): You called me a hoe!
Lari: (1:00:25 PM): Why would you say that?
"Ice": (1:00:28 PM): how*
Lari: (1:00:30 PM): OMG! *CRY*
"Ice": (1:00:42 PM): sorry
"Ice": (1:00:49 PM): invite me ur cam
Lari: (1:00:53 PM): How? You said hoe! It was that simple!
Lari: (1:01:03 PM): I DON'T HAVE A CAM!
"Ice": (1:01:05 PM): opr share ur pics at pic box
Lari: (1:01:15 PM): I did that.
Lari: (1:01:21 PM): You said I was ugly!
"Ice": (1:01:25 PM): :(
"Ice": (1:01:32 PM): i said?
"Ice": (1:01:39 PM): i never said
Lari: (1:01:55 PM): Yes you did! Don't take it back now! I'm ugly!
Lari: (1:01:58 PM): *CRY*
"Ice": (1:02:23 PM): n i'm not person who 'll like only face buety i like heart buety
"Ice": (1:02:41 PM): bueaty*
Lari: (1:02:53 PM): You only want me for my booty?
"Ice": (1:03:07 PM): n i'm sure ur good of nature
Lari: (1:03:16 PM): No, I'm a bitch.
"Ice": (1:03:29 PM): i like ur talking
"Ice": (1:03:40 PM): n sure u'll good person
Lari: (1:04:19 PM): How many pills do you think would be lethal?
"Ice": (1:04:48 PM): HUH?
Lari: (1:05:28 PM): I'll just try a whole bottle.
"Ice": (1:13:13 PM): ?
Bots
Ad bots message me too, and I see what kind of funny things they say when I message them back. Here's what happens when me and my friends get messaged by bots.
Me vs Bot "Finnicky"

"Finniky":60ii f1b click that blue link to see me naked http://***.*******.************.com:?http://*******.jp:?****** ***
Bear:I have a black and white monitor.

Lari vs Bot "Briene"

"Briene": 6o5 ri6lv click that blue link to see me naked http://*****.**********.com:?http://*****.org:?****** k1s3
Lari: I'm on an Apple //e. My screen is all green!

Me vs Bot "Brittany"

"Brittany": gteqfcum see me nhgut nude on cam djfjr lhyu
Bear: Hello there ya dumb ass bot
"Brittany": eqfhow are u? nzel
Bear: I am fine. But your a bot and you're not fine at all!
"Brittany": ch Cool, I'm ok. thanks. want to chat? ms uaiywedofohsmgciv wyx kynj dey
Bear: Not really. I think your ugly and are a stupid c**t bot.
"Brittany": wywell... 22/F/us here.. you? waciynnwcttx

Lari vs Bot "Babs"

"Babs": kya website finally done! chex pic out :-) http://www.*****-******.com
Lari: Mmmm, I like Chex mix.

Me vs Bot "Mary"

"Mary": exrhi kjmreziky vphsviirqsv gaiz
Bear: hi
"Mary": hhow are u? h o d fsrcrwnrmkqorflmkwwsls wobxm hqdn naw
Bear: fine
Bear: you?
"Mary": tlmi'm so excited just agood day 2day.. lets chat? hdkmhbpi
"Mary": mp.. i'm 22 /f / loL.... you? y me zv tlax
Bear: bye ya little whore bot
"Mary": bnsI'm on cam. Wanna take a look? you can do it without a cam at your side f c ygrdcohgtbrdzgvvvo p xti
Bear: Why would I have a cam at my side you dumb bot? What, do you expect me to be recording the action taking place on my screen?
"Mary": hxyhttp://*****.****.****.org/*******/********** msjbyhzxifhcig
Bear: You are certifiably retarded. Why would I want to watch a tard on cam?
"Mary": b It's for free amcjurysadv oq n fnbchqcvof cx lkkpboqqmvn z n
Bear: No crap, you couldn't sell your electronically tainted cooch.
"Mary": uxiI'll wait for you fuatwkocsqtmq klsrzb
Bear: Have fun, retard.
"Mary": okmfirst register free, please ose blsha sxtjoekd
Bear: Eat me first
"Mary": ie thank you zdvnt of mvunfafgijflbxs mxg d pnmky
Bear: Are you on crack?

Well, that's all. I hope you enjoyed it. Now you can go back to watching Ninja Andy say 1337. Bye!
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