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| I have to admit, I was expecting mind-numbing stupidity coming into this week's episode of ECW due to the advertised "Extreme Strip Poker" being used as the hard sell... actually, the only sell of this show. So, I was expecting them to play poker during the main event. I was wrong. They were going to weave it throughout the entire episode. God help us. |
| Right off the bat, the gimmick has problems. Balls Mahoney (God bless 'im, but his teeth are seriously jacked up) is too close to the camera, and he tells us that he's the dealer. Well, there goes any chance of the sex-deprived losers at home getting any sexual gratification out of this segment. |
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To further ruin the night's gimmick, they're not even playing poker... they're playing high card! Yes, ladies and gentleman, "Extreme Strip Poker" is another way of saying "Strip High Card." I remember playing strip high card with some ladies as far back as 2002, so I can't diss the "impatient person's stripping game." There are some differences that make it ok to diss "Extreme Strip Poker," though. • We didn't call it poker... it's not poker. • We didn't advertise it as part of a wrestling show. • Balls Mahoney was not there. To further annoy me, Joey Styles will repeatedly lie throughout the night, saying that ECW is the only place you can see this. It's strip high card... I've seen it. |
| Hooray, a CM Punk match! This will save us from the stupid crap that is the focal point of the show! Well, it would have, had they not interrupted the match multiple times to show us a girl taking something off. Can't that wait until after the match? It's strip high card! They aren't going to be putting the clothes back on anytime soon! I want to watch the very little wrestling on the wrestling show. Is that too much to ask? |
| Tommy Dreamer ends Kevin Thorne's undefeated streak... in a match that was downplayed to mean absolutely nothing by being interrupted because a woman was taking off her shoes. Is Creative retarded, or do they just think everyone else is? |
| "No! Don't watch wrestling! Look over here! Shiny!" |
| By the night's end, the faces have swept the heels, but nobody cares because a bunch of women are playing high card with Balls Mahoney. Here's the kicker. At the end of the night, after waiting through all that icky wrestling, the 9 losers who tuned in exclusively to see naked women are disappointed. Now, this was a given. It was going to happen. They were not going to show full frontal nudity on Sci-Fi. If you thought otherwise, you are retarded. So, did they use creative camera angles to avoid showing the goods? No. Did they simply never get them naked? No. They got naked... but they blurred out the naughty parts. Yes, they blurred out the naughty parts, ever so expertly, ever so precisely on a "live" show. What does this tell you? They've been interrupting matches all night with parts of a taped segment whose payoff was less erotic and showed less than a Girls Gone Wild commercial! By showing that it was obviously a taped segment, it makes my head hurt to think that they used it as "breaking news" during a CM Punk match. Blasphemers! Is there any justification for this? Wait... perhaps this was all to advance Kelly Kelly's exhibitionist gimmick! That could work! She decided to take everything off on her first loss... but then sat there with her hands modestly covering her breasts throughout the rest of the night. There goes that gimmick. Some exhibitionist she turned out to be. Are we to believe that all this time, if Mike Knox would have let her finish, she would have just stood there covering herself anyway? Lame. What a waste of a night... oh, and poor 9 losers... afterwards, they had to turn to one of the 30 channels that were currently showing a Girls Gone Wild infomercial to "finish up." Oh, and way to hook that UFC crowd you were going for. Offering real fight fans women playing cards was much more effective than giving them a card of good wrestling matches that the announcers sold as highly important. Very insightful... retards. |
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