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His debut was a wrestling classic. He went what seemed like days with USA Championship Wrestling Hall of Famer Cassidy O'Reilly (who himself somehow lost his "O'" and had his name mangled in the transition to ECW). The high spots were amazing. The restholds were breathtaking. I would have been on the edge of my seat, but I broke my seat over my own head last night to help me understand the logic of Rated RKO's beatdown of Jobsaw Jim Duggan (because we all know that jobbers always make the babyface save during the main event... geez).
So, Kitty hits the POUNCE (and Taz and indy wrestler Joey Styles have no idea WTF it is, even though it is written on his trunks), and then goes for a submission! Kitty's into BDSM now! It was amazing! It was like an armbar, but... well, it was an armbar. Hmm, I wonder what he will call it. Lets see...
• The Scratching Post
• The Jungle Juice
• The Armbar of One
• The Period
• The Big Wiggle
• The Pounce-bar
• "Some Kind of Submission Move" (suggested by Michael Cole)
• The Garfield/Felix Lasagna Twirl 780 Arm and Paw Vicelock 7000
• The Cor Von Lock
• The Sliced Hot Dog Bun #7.5
• The FUTNA
• Armbar
Wow, it could be any of those... but just those... nothing else. Those are the choices. Pick one. This is multiple choice, Kitty. No write-ins allowed. If you go and make up some stupid name not on the list, I'm taking your ball of yarn away.
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The "Big Kitty" Monty Brown is in ECW!!! After months of me professing his 1337N355 (the Ninja Andy rub always does the trick), he has finally dug his way out of that litter box "the Serengeti," and moved his way up to "The Animal Kingdom." There was talk that he might end up being stuck in "The Plant Kingdom," or even "The Fungi Kingdom," (although he had DEFINITELY turned down the options in "The Moneran Kingdom" and "The Protist Kingdom") but a last minute deal got him a comfortable apartment on the lower East side of Animal.
Much like what happened to my ultimate hero, Kadillac Kasey James, losing his Kadillac once he got to WWE, Big Kitty Brown lost something too... the name Monty Brown. He's still the Big Kitty, but now he's Marquis Grissom or Houston... or VonKatiewinkle (shoutout D-Vizzle!)... or... lemme look... Cor Von. Cor Von? That's not even a name! WTF IS COR VON? And Marquis? What is WWE's obsession with baseball players all of the sudden? First, Kenny (Lenny) Dykstra, then British Bullpup Harry (Ozzie) Smith, and now Marquis (Grissom) Cor Von? Baseball player names are no fun! Turn off ESPN and turn on Nickelodeon. I want to see Sponge Bob Square Holly! He'll put that pink bastard Patrick (Rene Dupree) in his place!
