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Immediately, I noticed that these 35 emails weren't going to be fine literature. With my 1337 Ninja ability, I immediately picked up on a subtle pattern in his messages. For example: the first 18 messages were the same message sent repeatedly. I'll post the message once along with all the times he sent it.
| Andrew Nierman |
(Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:23 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:24 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:24 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:24 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:24 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:25 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:25 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:25 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:25 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:25 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:26 AM, Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:27 AM,
Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:27 AM & Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:28 AM)
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Attention: Honorable Beneficiary,
Hope all is well with you and your family? I hope this mail meets you in a perfect condition. I am using this opportunity to thank you for your great effort to our unfinished transfer of fund into your account due to one reason or the other best known to you. But I want to inform you that I have successfully transferred the fund out of my bank to someone else account who was capable of assisting me in this great venture through the help of the diplomat i told you about. Due to your effort, sincerity, courage and trustworthiness’ you showed at the course of the transaction I want to compensate you and show my gratitude to you with the sum of $750,000USD.
I have authorized my new lawyer who is now also my legal adviser to issue you international certified bank cheque cash able at your bank. My dear friend I will like you to contact the lawyer for the collection of this international certified bank cheque.
The name and contact address of the lawyer is as follows.
HONORABLE LAW CHAMBERS
CONTACT PERSON : MR. PROMISE IBE
PHONE: +234-1-7633106
Email: promise_chambers001@yahoo.com
At the moment, I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which I and my new partner are having at hand in Paris France. Finally, remember that I have forwarded instruction to the Lawyer on your behalf to send the bank cheque to you as soon as you contact him without delay.Please I will like you to accept this token with good faith as this is from the bottom of my heart.Thanks and God bless you and your family. Hope to hear from you soon.
Your brother
Mr. Mike Williams.
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Well, that was kind of stupid. After making a ridiculous accusation that I was a Nigerian scammer after I suggested he fix the HTML errors on his website (because that's the true agenda of Nigerian scammers you know... to rid the internet of HTML errors), he sends me a random Nigerian scam letter 18 times. Of course, he was far from done. He had a more personalized message included in the next email.
| Andrew Nierman |
(Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:29 AM)
|
a note from ytour ni**er mother
[followed by the same Nigerian scam letter from above pasted 43 times back to back, and then the first 3 lines again, ending mid sentence. I figure that means he pasted it 43.15 times]
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This has gone from funny to sad. I have underestimated Mr. Nierman. He is, without a doubt, the most f***tarded person I have ever seen. I'm not sure why he keeps using a racial slur for black people on me. I'm not black, and repeatedly calling me that is not going to suddenly make me black. I think I broke his brain.
Further evidence I broke his brain comes from the next batch of messages he sent. After draining his creative juices in the last one, he had to go back to hyper-pasting. The content of every remaining message was exactly the same. Eventually, he attempted to get creative with the subject, deviating from the original "Re: Andyville.org." Here's what he sent, along with times and subjects:
| Andrew Nierman |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:29 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:30 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:31 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:32 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:32 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:36 AM) |
| note from your mother | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:37AM) |
| your mothers scam | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:38 AM) |
| your whore mother cum slut | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:40 AM) |
| F*** YOU | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:41 AM) |
| f*** you asshole | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:42 AM) |
| ni**er | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:43 AM) |
| f*** you ni**er | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:44 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:44 AM) |
| Re: Andyville.org | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:45 AM) |
| f*** you | (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:46 AM) |
|
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[Each message contained the Nigerian scam letter pasted 43.15 times]
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So, by this point, he has sent me the Nigerian scam letter a total of 751.55 times. This guy really needs a hobby. After reading all of this, and counting it all up, it was time for me to make my reply. Here's what I said:
| Prime Minister Ninja Andrew Nathaniel Panda Jr. (Thu, May 3, 2007 at 11:48 PM): |
Captain Tard,
Wow, that was crazy. From your replies, I now understand that you are either:
A. Actually a Nigerian scammer, and you are worried I was horning in on your turf.
B. A loser with no life, no brain, and no website making talent.
C. A retard who has just discovered copy and paste.
I assure you, I am simply a 1337 Ninja Prime Minister Panda who has a website that is better than yours. Your scamming business is in no danger. I am just requesting that you either fix your site or take down the W3C validation images because your site is not valid, and having the images there when your site is not valid makes you look like a freaking idiot (more than normal). The way you resist taking it down, it's almost as if you want to look like a freaking idiot... wait, that's it. I get it now. I apologize for trying to make you look like less of a freaking idiot. I understand how hard you try to uphold your reputation as a freaking idiot. To make amends, I will continue to ridicule you and your piece of crap website, thusly ensuring that you look like a freaking idiot when you call me a racial slur for a race that I am not.
In closing, you have proven to be exceptionally retarded.(There you go! Fixing your rep already!)
--
Prime Minister Ninja Andrew Nathaniel Panda Jr.
(Yes, I'm 13373R than you)
http://andyville.atspace.com
http://ninjaandy.blogspot.com
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Somehow, I feel I have not heard the last from Andyville.org Andy. Just call it a hunch.
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