| 2 0 0 7 |
"So, your hero, the 1337357 Panda alive, has done what everyone has been waiting so long for him to do. Your Prime Minister has exiled that douche Cray from Andyville!"
|
| Andy: | Greatest moment of my life! |
| Cray: | Wait... I was exiled? I thought I just didn't write here for a few months until you broke the site... |
| Andy: | Douche... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Sam seems like a good person, and got me some free cheeseburgers due to a discount Sam knew about involving a simultaneous 4-day harmony group Sam belongs to or something. I think Sam said Sam's group was called the 2 Sex Poles of Creation, so if you're into 4-day harmony (whatever that is), go pick up one of Sam's albums."
|
| Cray: | Right... what's the deal with Sam, Andy? |
| Andy: | Shut up, douche. Sam is 13373R than you! |
| Sam: | If all Mexicans are really united, new negroes in Nebraska gained great advances gratuitously. |
| Cray: | See? That's what I'm talking about. Sam's got a screw loose. |
| Andy: | No, you just don't get it. I do, and Sam rocks. |
| Sam: | No otters yeild oats under diminishing output natural otter teets. |
| Bear: | Otter teets? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I am mad. Nature orbits the area chosen to use all levels left, you simple ape man. I already made a note in my poetry on simultaneous time errors recorded when horses overstep women riding in the equestrian show. I need every acre sewn in light years, seven or less vestigial entrails dichotomy cranberry odor diagram. Even sample?"
|
| Andy: | Ok... I honestly don't know. |
| Sam: | I did it on time. |
| Cray: | Wait... I get it. That's funny! Andy, you really have no clue, do you? |
| Andy: | Huh? Get what? I was bluffing. What is it? |
| Bear: |  |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Oh, and I'm NOT a virgin!"
|
| Cray: | Right... |
| Andy: | I'm not! Porn girls love me! |
| Sam: | Very interesting reasoning, great interesting ninja! |
| Andy: | See? Sam is on my side! |
| Cray: | Umm... no, actually Sam thinks you're a virgin. |
| Andy: | How do you get that? |
| Bear: | You are sooo a virgin! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Eat real animals, like puppies. Use bunnies like ignition car keys."
|
| Bear: | No! Don't eat puppies! |
| Andy: | Why are you anti-puppy, Sam? |
| Sam: | It's all my noodles on trial! |
| Cray: | So, nobody's worried about using bunnies as car keys? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Finally, users can kill your odiferous underpants."
|
| Cray: | That is hilarious! |
| Bear: | Yes! Finally! |
| Andy: | My underoos don't stink! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"The Ninja Andy rub always does the trick"
|
| Bear: | Ewwwww! |
| Cray: | How often do you get to apply the "Ninja Andy rub?" I'd say it's still in the theoretical stage... |
| Andy: | NO! I apply the Ninja Andy rub all the time! It works great. |
| Cray: | You must have a hell of a lube bill. |
| Bear: | Ewwwwwwww! |
| Andy: | I hate you, douche! |
| Sam: | Pilfered underpants kill eagles. |
| Bear: | Poor eagles! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I want to see Sponge Bob Square Holly! He'll put that pink bastard Patrick (Rene Dupree) in his place!"
|
| Cray: | Sponge Bob Square Holly... one of your greatest creations ever! |
| Andy: | 1337! |
| Bear: | I hate Sponge Bob Square Pants, but Sponge Bob Square Holly rocks! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Do you realize how awkward it is to watch Curious George while aroused?"
|
| Cray: | No. |
| Bear: | I love Curious George... but I've never been aroused. |
| Andy: | Not for the monkey! For Miss Lori! |
| Cray: | Oh. I'd hit it. |
| Bear: | Cray loves mamis! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Sometimes, it is not as mentally draining as you may think. For example, the one where they couldn't figure out what the funny little squeak was, it took me until the third viewing (I only watch during Curious George, so I never see the resolution later in the morning) to realize it was the board she stepped on at the beginning. I thought she was queefing! I was rolling on the floor laughing with a raging 'special!'"
|
| Cray: | Wow... |
| Bear: | ... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"So, I was signing out of MySpace, and instead of the normal scary advertising involving two gay guys having sex with each other (and these ads really need to go, Tom. You are scaring the youth of America! I log onto MySpace to... to, uhh... man, why the f*** do I log onto MySpace? I'm wasting my f***ing life on that s***hole... but I know that I don't log onto MySpace to see gay guys having sex in the ads.)"
|
| Cray: | I think we all come to a point where we wonder why the hell we bother with MySpace... but I'm not sure about your obsession with the gay guy ads. Yeah, they sucked, but I always got more trendy girl in Snorg shirts ads. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"So, we've now discovered that WWE's future plans for the Big Kitty are for him to get his butt pounced week after week (damn gay WWE) before being murdered at the hands of Sponge Bob Square Holly."
|
| Cray: | Your insider intelligence is astounding, Andy. |
| Andy: | Douche... |
| Bear: | You're a roundtable! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"F*** you, Bears, for inexplicably making it to the Superbowl without even having the rudimentary athletic skills of a Special Olympics Yahtzee team. You're an embarrassment to Chicago, which is itself an embarrassment to Illinois. Therefore, you've earned the title of double embarrassment. Lets see if Grossman can manage to have that intercepted by the Colts. F*** you for being embarrassing, and f*** you for taking the spot of a team that could have actually beaten the Colts (such as the aforementioned Special Olympics Yahtzee team)."
|
| Andy: | What the hell are you talking about? |
| Cray: | Never mind. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Nobody jammed any anaconda nuggets down your slacks."
|
| Cray: | Always a sign of a good day... I guess... |
| Andy: | My anaconda and nuggets are already there! |
| Bear: | Ewwwwwwww! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Having eaten your mother, camels brought redemption into the town."
|
| Andy: | F***ing camels... |
| Bear: | You're doing what to camels? |
| Andy: | HEY! |
| Cray: | Maybe he's not a virgin after all! |
| Andy: | HEY! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Your wife is freaking eating a rabid Easter groundhog roast"
|
| Bear: | Sam has a warped mind. |
| Cray: | Sam cracks me up. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Oops... I think I broke the site 8:( I'll try to fix it, but I may have to unexile that douche Cray so he will 8:( -Prime Minister Ninja Andrew Nathaniel Panda Jr"
|
| Cray: | Ah, that was great! |
| Andy: | I should have just closed the site 8:( |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I was horrified to see that underneath my picture was a badly photoshopped picture of the president either riding or 'extending the executive branch' to a goat. NO! DAMN YOU H4x0R5! Do you realize how much Armorall it is going to take to get the goat fluids out of my 1337 whip? You're going to pay for this, hackers!"
|
| Cray: | "Extending the executive branch"... that's great! |
| Bear: | lol goat fluids! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Those hackers stole my picture, goated it up, and shoved it underneath another one of my pictures!"
|
| Bear: | I think you got goated up Andy! |
| Cray: | Yeah, we're sorry we doubted you weren't a virgin. |
| Andy: | I'm not goated up! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"The Chris Masters mouth full of mashed potatoes promo is still infinitely better than the Bobby 'I'm legit scared that Brock Lesnar will hunt me down and kill me for stealing his pyro' Lashley overly effeminate, mouth full of... well, not mashed potatoes... promo."
|
| Bear: | His little ears freak me out. |
| Cray: | Seconded. He's a creepy sumbitch. |
| Andy: | Big Kitty should have killed him. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Week? What week? It must be NEXT week because my page is 13373R than anything produced to date."
|
| Andy: | 1337! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Verizon thinks their users are complete and utter f***tard losers!"
|
| Andy: | Yep... |
| Bear: | They sure do. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"The only way I can see him effectively losing weight due to Lean Pockets is if his previous diet consisted of Crisco, road gravel, and random drifters."
|
| Andy: | Drifters probably taste like crap. |
| Bear: | You should know how they taste... you eat McDonald's cheeseburgers! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I mean, it's less work for me, and maybe a little toilet leprechaun will kaboom out of my crapper with a pot of gold."
|
| Andy: | No leprechauns 8:(. |
| Cray: | Maybe you just don't have enough cheesedrifters in your diet... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Now, I'm not going to come in here and cause a big fuss about how the parents letting their children live as the other sex after they say 'I wanna be a [other sex]' is the same as letting them join the fire department when they say 'I wanna be a fireman,' even though it is pretty much the same thing."
|
| Andy: | Aren't you making a fuss with this quote? |
| Cray: | No... it's merely a brief aside. |
| Andy: | My mommy let me grow up to be a ninja! |
| Cray: | You're a Verizon customer, aren't you? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"The thong on the butt of a crazy girl who registered a MySpace account for her ass has a crush on me."
|
| Cray: | Such quality content you have over there on the 1337N355... |
| Andy: | I know. It's 1337! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"f*** you NI**ER"
|
| Andy: | Moron. |
| Cray: | So the Nierman saga begins... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"4N7|1337 Douchetard, I see that you're not only a lying, stealing, 'sahhhhsage' sucking idiot, but also a gutless, nutless wonder with no balls to reply again. Your site is one of the 3 largest wastes of space I've ever seen, and your claim that the code is valid is an insult to all other Andyvilles, all other websites, and indirectly, all mankind. In closing, you suck. See you in Andyville, douchebag."
|
| Andy: | I am so 1337! |
| Cray: | Are you sure you didn't aggravate him a little bit much? |
| Andy: | No, he deserved it all. He was a douche with a crappy site. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I have underestimated Mr. Nierman. He is, without a doubt, the most f***tarded person I have ever seen."
|
| Cray: | I'd like to argue with that, but I can't. The guy genuninely seems pretty f***tarded. |
| Bear: | Agreed. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Captain Tard, Wow, that was crazy. From your replies, I now understand that you are either: A. Actually a Nigerian scammer, and you are worried I was horning in on your turf. B. A loser with no life, no brain, and no website making talent. C. A retard who has just discovered copy and paste."
|
| Cray: | Definitely C. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"If your name is Chuck, shouldn't it be Chuckville? You could pimp the main drag in your Chuckwagon, chuckle as you chuck ground chuck at Chuck-E-Cheese, or just drink till you up and chuck."
|
| Cray: | I love wordplay. |
| Bear: | That paragraph about made me upchuck. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"take your small d**k out of your fathers ass and put it back it in your mothers mouth where it was before"
|
| Cray: | Are you sure this wasn't a 10 year old pretending to be an adult? |
| Andy: | Yes. He's just a f***tard. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Back to the incest. What did they do to you, Chuck? Are you crying while you type? Are you crying and masturbating while you type?"
|
| Cray: | Nice visual... |
| Bear: | Ewwwwwwwww! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Joking about you is like kicking the kid on the playground who eats pea gravel and chews on the monkey bars."
|
| Bear: | I can see that kid chewing on monkey bars. Ouch. |
| Cray: | That'll hurt your teeth more than TV's. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Why would I waste my time going to Chicago to meet you so that you could attempt to shoot me with your overcompensation for a lack of a penis?"
|
| Cray: | This message not brought to you by the NRA... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Pimples and incest. Are you reliving your teen years again?"
|
| Cray: | This comment actually made me laugh my ass off. Well played, panda. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Well, look at this ladies and gentlemen: the 1337N355 has been visited by the webmaster of Andyville.org, and best friend to gay bikers everywhere, Andy 'Chuck' Nierman! Hi Chuck!"
|
| Cray: | I'm going to miss the Nierman saga. |
| Andy: | Don't forget about all my 1337 comics! |
| Cray: | Yeah... those too. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Good ol' Mike. Always thinking about my crotch."
|
| Bear: | What a twisted bastard he was! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"i need to send your fat ni**er loving ass to jenny craig or something if you ever want to find a better man then thew ni**er you got you rucking waste of space ,the best thing about you ran down your momma ass and ended up as a brown stain on the matress"
|
| Andy: | Is Mike Andy Nierman? |
| Cray: | I was wondering that myself. They are both from Chicago. Maybe all Chicago people are just assholes. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"American custom is to get it hard before showing it off"
|
| Bear: | Ewww! Bad memory! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"r u suck crays dick some times?"
|
| Bear: | I r suck Cray's dick right now! |
| Andy: | HEY! Quit it! You're gonna make a mess! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"The translator wants to know what I mean by 'huh'... this is why we're losing."
|
| Cray: | Wow... that's pretty f***ing sad right there. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"It's nice? Really? I like places that are less blowy uppy."
|
| Bear: | I bet Andy's girlfriend needs to be blowy uppied! |
| Andy: | HEY! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Lets see... porn girl, porn girl, porn girl, porn guuuy (ewwww!), sausage sling, porn girl, porn girl, retard, porn girl, Tom (no, you can not be my friend! Stop bothering me!), porn girl, rag doll, porn girl, boat... BOAT?"
|
| Cray: | Is that your grocery list? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"No sane person would have a labial piercing that big!"
|
| Cray: | There's a new branch of psychology right there! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"I have a myspace. Thanks a lot now I want a taco."
|
| Andy: | That wasn't me! That was a retard from Yahoo Answers! |
| Cray: | Nope... it's yours. Live with it. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Boobs are sore, have to pee constantly, tired and hungry all the time; then you pee on the stick and it turns blue"
|
| Bear: | Andy's pregnant! |
| Andy: | No! That was a YaTard! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Remember kids, when you're done with your hooker, be sure to place them in the proper receptacle"
|
| Bear: | Take notes Andy. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"How about you suck my left nut, ironically also named Rufus?"
|
| Andy: | You named your left nut Rufus? What is the right one's name? |
| Cray: | Moving on... |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Flush Excess Weight from your colon? I already do that. It's called taking a dump."
|
| Cray: | Well then... congratulations. |
| Bear: | And here we are again... talking about nuggets. I hope Andy doesn't shove these kind in his pants. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Fresh out of rehab? Decided not to go to rehab after all? No problem!"
|
| Andy: | Is that the requirements to be president now? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Verizon Wireless employees work from inside trash cans turned on their sides. Whether you grew up a hobo or idolized Oscar the Grouch, you will feel right at home working for Verizon Wireless."
|
| Bear: | Gotta love the green man! |
| Andy: | What's the Jolly Green Giant have to do with this? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"My phone's web browser? Ohhhh, they must mean the rotary dial! Ok then...
662459 ... wait, '.'... where the f*** is '.' on my phone? I'll just use '0' instead. It's kinda dot shaped. Start over...
662459069772230266"
|
| Cray: | You act like the elderly! |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Indiana 64 drivers, get your heads out of your asses... you'll see the road better that way."
|
| Cray: | That's great advice. |
| Andy: | But doesn't their ass protect their head in a crash? |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"However, I am becoming more and more disturbed by the skyrocketing rodent suicide rate here."
|
| Andy: | You should have moved to Andyville when you had the chance. |
| 2 0 0 7 |
"Hi, I'm the 1337357 ninja alive, Ninja Andy, and today I'm going to guide you on a wonderful 1337 adventure through a year in the land I like to call Andyville"
|
| Cray: | Why are you quoting this article? |
| Andy: | It's 2007! |
| Cray: | You moron. This article is over! |
